I was just looking through your Thailand articles and would like to share some experiences I had there.
I dated a Thai woman whilst I was in Bangkok and although I enjoyed her company I disliked the inequality in the relationship. She expected me to take care of her financially whilst she took care of me in other ways. I knew she truly cared for me but I still felt uneasy.
Many people speak of men who have an "Asian Fetish" with distain and I feel this is unfair. I didn't choose my sexuality in the same way that I didn't choose to dislike spicy food.
Most people are enlightened enough to understand that some people are naturally predisposed to homosexuality so why not certain nationalities?
I'd be interested to hear the thoughts and experiences of others.
I've had some more thoughts if people are interested.
Some Asian women prefer to date white men for a variety of reasons. Women from East Asia often consider white men to be taller, more athletic and more extrovert then Asians. Postitution is widely indulged in across Asia and many women feel that a white man are less likely to keep a mistress or spend his evenings in a hostess bar.
There are also inequalities in many Asian societies. Women are expected to marry-up socially whilst men are free to marry whoever they wish. This means there is more competition for husbands and foreigners can fill the gaps.
One of these days I'm going to write a guide to sex tourism and the whole dating in foreign cultures thing. Damn, half our traffic comes in via the dating pages...
Look, until very recently, all over the world marriage has been an economic contract and in most places it still is. Whether it depended on how many cattle you had or what your 'prospects' with the firm were, men didn't get wives unless they had cash.
In fact they still don't in most of the world. Hence the nervous energy of males under the age of 30 in Muslim countries and India who have no hope of getting the cash together to get married. And they're not even paying the dowry.
In Thailand they're just more honest. They know that men make much more money than women in society, that more opportunities are open to them and that as being a woman still makes you a second class citizen in most of the world, being bought a few meals and presents is not much to ask. No price is put on her cleaning up after you, cooking and generally bringing grace and meaning to your life.
But i'm as programmed as anyone. It;s tough for me to pay all the bills, I've had the PC stuff drilled into me and have become another wishywashy liberal western guy who doesn't know quite where he stands.
I was chatting about it with an Israeli girlfriend recently who was openly materialistic and when I suggested that perhaps women deserve to be treated like a princess because of the shit they have to put up with in life (period pains, menstruation, raising children, social discrimination, sexual abuse etc) she looked at me as though I must be completely dumb.
"Of course!" she told me like i'd just learnt the facts of life.
I know all that Tom. It's just different reading about these things in books and experiencing the culture clash first hand.
When I was growing up The Spice Girls and others were telling me how much they valued their independence and now I'm in an enviroment where society and individuals define women by their relationships with men.
I'm just wondering whether I should go with my heart or my head?
Can the culture gap be bridged?
BTW: I spent the last month wondering in the woods. Lots of thinking space, very little conversation. Sorry to overwhelm you.
I'm only kidding, Ali, I wish everyone was as prolific as you on the forums AND posted as interesting comments.
For my two cents I'd go with the heart all the way. That's where the only real travel happens. Transcending what we know is the real voyaging, right?
Maybe the culture gap won't be bridged in the end but the trip will be educational at the least..
Man, I spent 3 months in asia a few years ago and developed a thing for asian girls that just won't let me go. After a couple of years in latin america, I'm ready to go back and live in thailand. I can deal with a culture where I have to pay everything. It pretty much works out that way here or in the US anyway, so fuck it. At least there I won't be expected to clean up after I bought and cooked dinner, paid the bills and worked a full day to buy her some shit. Damn, I miss being single and alone. I miss doing whatever the fuck I feel like...
Hey, do you know anything about the prospects of teaching english in Chiang Mai or that area, Ali Baba?
I love asian bitches and I could care less what anyone thinks, all those other materialistic hoes ain't worth shit.
It is so funny that this guy is using the argument that "homosex is acceptable so asian hoes should be acceptable too"
you dumb ass homosex and asian hoe sex has nothing to do with one another except you watch too much tv and are brainwashed.
this is the funniest thing i heard in a while.
I don't know much about about love on the road but dating someone from a different culture is certainly an experience.
I don't like Thailand that much and was only planning to spend 2 weeks there and wasn't looking for a relationship. I was pretty ignorant about Thai society when I arrived and even with Thailand Fever by my side I still felt like a fish out of water for some time. I've been chatting with a British friend who has a Cambodian girlfriend and he observed that it would be cheaper to hire a prostitute then court a woman in Cambodia. I replied that the service wouldn't be the same though.
S.E Asia seems to be less Confucian then N.E Asia so the women are less demure (or less reserved perhaps) but I'm a little tired of being treated like a cash machine.
Just don't buy them shit, man. If they don't like it, fuck them, tell them you're broke. If they still want to be with you than you're better off anyway. I know what you mean, though. Well, I'm about to go live in Asia, I think, so I'll figure it out over there.